Hot Reads: 2013 Chinstrap Award winners - Cincinnati News, Weather, Sports from FOX19 NOW-WXIX

Hot Reads: 2013 Chinstrap Award winners

The regular season is over, and there are plenty of accolades to pass around. (Source: Alabama Athletic Communications/Todd Van Emst, Auburn University/Ted Mayer, Georgia Athletics) The regular season is over, and there are plenty of accolades to pass around. (Source: Alabama Athletic Communications/Todd Van Emst, Auburn University/Ted Mayer, Georgia Athletics)

(RNN) - I would start with something like, "Guess what day it is…" but that's probably getting old, and it's not original. It sounds better coming from a camel, anyway.

No, my friends, there is no need for gimmicks or glitzy catch phrases. There are no golden statues, no red carpets and no national TV audience.

So what's the draw, you ask? The revelry of the best awards in the history of meaningless awards, that's what.

And if that doesn't work, umm… Hey, look! There's a talking camel!

Best Drama

Winner: Auburn - I mean, really, like anyone else had a shot to win this award after what happened in their final two games of the regular season.

It's amazing how things can come full circle. Auburn also won this award last year, but for vastly different reasons.

Other nominees: Saban-to-Texas rumors; Georgia in the fourth quarter

Best Comedic Performance

Winner: Texas A&M defense - If you've ever wondered why Dr. James Naismith invented basketball for the hardwood instead of grass, the 2013 Aggies gave you a glimpse of what the alternative may have looked like.

Unlike the 1999 St. Louis Rams, who actually had a great defense to go along with that scoring machine, the Aggies were hard to watch this year. It was like Johnny Manziel's own teammates were holding a gun to his head and daring him to score more points than they gave up.

Other nominees: Georgia's "tip drill" vs. Auburn; Ole Miss offense vs. Mississippi State

Jockstrap Award

Winner: Cameron Artis-Payne/Corey Grant, Auburn - The award for the best backup or stand-in for an injured starter goes to this duo. They have each amassed more than 600 rushing yards behind Heisman finalist Tre Mason, making for a juggernaut offense that rolled into the BCS title game.

Other nominees: Maty Mauk, Missouri; Dak Prescott, Mississippi State; Patton Robinette, Vanderbilt

Bottom-of-the-Pile Award

Frontrunner: Bo Wallace, Ole Miss - You knew there were going to be some growing pains, even with all that new talent around him. But that fumble in overtime in the Egg Bowl just screamed, "Yep! We're still Ole Miss."

Other nominees: Tyler Russell, Mississippi State; Jadeveon Clowney, South Carolina

No "I" in Team Award

Winner: Missouri - It was tempting to take the other Tigers that played in the SEC Championship Game, but all Mizzou did every week was exceed expectations and find different ways to win. They have had a takeaway in 43 straight games, locked down the best receiver in the league (Mike Evans), and produced one of the most balanced offenses in the country.

Other nominees: Auburn, Vanderbilt, South Carolina

Unknown-to-Unstoppable Award

Winner: Nick Marshall, Auburn - A year ago, he was playing in junior college. A month ago, he was playing for a team trying to prove it had as much skill as good fortune. In a few weeks, he could be the quarterback of the last BCS national champion.

Other nominees: Michael Sam, Missouri; Dak Prescott, Mississippi State; Mike Davis, South Carolina

Cool Customer Award

Winner: Gary Pinkel, Missouri - A 3-1 record without his star quarterback and an SEC East title in his team's second season in the league? Yep, that'll do.

Other nominees: James Franklin, Vanderbilt; Gus Malzahn, Auburn; Mark Richt, Georgia

Gamebreaker Award

Winner: Chris Davis, Auburn - The now-legendary defensive back was earning his keep before he returned that 108-yard failed kick in the Iron Bowl. He also led the NFL Lite in punt return average and passes defended.

Other nominees: Ricardo Louis/Nick Marshall, Auburn (vs. Georgia); Aaron Murray, Georgia (vs. LSU)

Team Logo Face Tattoo Award

Winner: Georgia fans - You all had to put up with a lot this year. You deserve this award solely for resisting the urge to set fire to Jordan-Hare Stadium.

Other nominees: Mississippi State fans, Florida fans, LSU fans

Tree Falls in Forest Award

Winner: Aaron Murray vs. Auburn - Murray threw for 415 yards and two TDs and ran for the go-ahead score with less than two minutes left. But no one will remember that because, well, you know what happened.

Other nominees: Jalen Whitlow (186 passing yards, 101 rushing yards, four TDs vs. Alabama State); James Franklin (303 passing yards, 76 rushing yards, four TDs vs. Auburn); Johnny Manziel (454 passing yards, 97 rushing yards, five TDs vs. Auburn)

Flop and Fail Award

Winner: South Carolina - Overall, a fine season. But how do you beat the eventual division champs, beat Clemson for the fifth straight year and still lose to Tennessee?

Other nominees: Georgia, Texas A&M, LSU

Hot Seat Award

Winner: Nick Saban, Alabama - Obviously, he won't find a pink slip in his mailbox. But I'm still not convinced he isn't shopping around, if for no other reason than to force Alabama to put even more padding in his retirement account.

Other nominees: Bret Bielema, Arkansas; Kevin Sumlin, Texas A&M; Dan Mullen, Mississippi State

You Couldn't Do This Without Me Award

Winner: Reese Dismukes, Auburn - Like any good center, he quietly allows everyone else to garner the credit while he tries to find legal ways to put submission moves on defensive linemen.

Other nominees: Kelcy Quarles, South Carolina; Greg Robinson, Auburn; Wesley Johnson, Vanderbilt

Stat of the Week:

1: Mizzou is the only SEC expansion team to reach the championship game within two years of joining the league. Arkansas and South Carolina were the only other expansion teams, and the Razorbacks reached the game in 1995, their fourth SEC season. It took the Gamecocks nine seasons to make the game.

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