You might have thought of doing a juice cleanse. Maybe you have a wedding, reunion, or something else coming up where you must look your best. Maybe you just returned from an all-inclusive vacation and need to re-set everything.
I have thought of a juice cleanse but the very idea scares me. A few days with no chewable food?! Have we just met? Do know me? However, a buddy of mine recently suffered through a 3-day juice cleanse. I told him to keep diary, so I and now you could decide if the pain is worth it. You will notice he’s pretty meticulous and funny. He works in advertising. He’s a big dude and played football in college. Oh, and loves chilitos from Skyline. My buddy JP in his own words.
3-day juice cleanse
1100 calories a day
9 a.m. – first juice is called “Clean”; kale, spinach, cucumber, celery, lemon.
Supposedly the worst tasting but I found it quite refreshing. Smelled very earthy and reminded me of gardening with my dad as a kid.
10:15 a.m. – First sense of hunger, I complained for about 5 min until our traffic manager told me to shut up and then I forgot about it. I’m certain the hunger was in my head though. I think it was more about the fact I changed my routine as opposed to actually being hungry.
11:00 a.m. – Got an intense surge of energy that last about 15 min. Felt hyper like a kid. Anxiously awaiting my next juice.
This one is sweet with a little tangy punch at the end from the ginger. At first sip it definitely woke me up. Good balance of ingredients. The ginger isn’t overpowering and the addition of mint isn’t interrupting like I feel it is on lamb entrees. WHO PUTS MINT ON LAMB!? I still don’t get it.
11:40 a.m. – Barely into my “Adventurous” and getting some bad heart burn. I’m guessing this is a product of my diet, or maybe the ginger. Still delicious though.
12:57 p.m. – Everyone is eating lunch around me and there’s leftover Donatos in the kitchen… I’m in hell. When’s my next juice??
1:15 p.m. – Having a bit of a crash. Feeling pretty thirsty.
1:35 p.m. – A faint headache has set in and feeling like I’m having hot flashes. Man-o-pause?
1:37 p.m. – My first actual stomach growl; interesting how long that took.
1:47 p.m. – Where’s my juice...also, the hot flashes have seemed to subside.
2:02 p.m. – Juice No. 3 “Alkalized”; Lemon, ginger coconut nectar, cayenne, filtered water
Hello acid. Wow, this was a tangy, spicy, juice-slap to the face. All I really taste here is ginger though, and maybe a little lemon, but yeah…definitely ginger.
2:30 p.m. – My mouth waters uncontrollably after every sip of “Alkalized.” It’s kind of entertaining.
This one tastes a lot like the first. Cucumber dominates the flavor, but it’s mostly pleasant. Ginger is much more subtle here than the last one. On a side note, I never realized how much I think about food until now.
4:50 p.m. – I’m a little chilly here in the office which is surprising. I’m almost never cold. Had another rush of energy for about 15 min. Felt like my swag was on 10.
4:57 p.m. – Where is my juice?
6 p.m. – Got home and immediately fell asleep for about 30 min. Woke up more disoriented than I’ve ever been in my life. Felt like I had slept for two days. A very weird sensation to say the least.
This one is by far the most refreshing and most delicious, at least it is in my current state. The headache came back a little bit and being home has made me think about food even more now that I’m surrounded by it. I’m watching ABC family for no apparent reason and everyone’s head looks like a chicken wing.
10:15 p.m. – Had a moment of weakness and broke down, ate a few handfuls of peanuts. Going to bed disappointed.
Repeating the six-juice cycle (same juices).
7:45 a.m. – Woke up disoriented and sweaty, similar to my nap yesterday. Still kicking myself over eating last night.
9 a.m. – Feeling pretty normal. Took my power shot, which was extremely gingery and hot. Tasted very, very concentrated; did give me a boost though.
9:15 a.m. – Having my first juice. Moving forward undeterred despite last night’s slip up. Ugh, no will power.
10:26 a.m. – Starting to get hungry again.
11:52 a.m. – The key is tea. The warm sensation of herbal tea is keeping my hunger at bay. Which helps because I’m generally feeling more tired today. I fear my lack of discipline and appropriate prep for this cleanse is biting me in the ass.
12:11 p.m. – The ups and downs I experienced yesterday in terms of hunger and temperature have seemed to level off. I’m having anxiety around making it through tonight with no food though. Less worried about the need to eat and concerned about following the rules of the cleanse. I don’t want to have wasted all this time and energy due to my lack of self-control.
12:30 p.m. – Maybe I spoke too soon…I feel in a zombie-like state all of the sudden. Not necessarily weak, but just unfocused and tired. Going to finish my noon juice and see if that helps.
12:35 pm – I’m never eating anything with ginger in it again.
2 p.m. – Noticed an increase seemingly in the fluidity of my brain while giving feedback at work. The spoken word came very clearly to me.
3:55 p.m. – In social settings I’m finding an overwhelming sense of giddiness overcoming me. I laugh easily and feel almost hysterical at times, but so far it’s controllable and not uncomfortable.
5 p.m. – Feeling pretty good at the moment. My most recent meeting went well and I was feeling pretty sharp. Thinking I’ll be able to pull this off tonight without any hiccups.
6:30 p.m. – Committing to day-3, went to pick up my juice for tomorrow and worked in some more nut milk options to help with some challenges I’ve had because of my stature
8:15 p.m. – Having my last juice for the day “Magical”; still my favorite. Feeling pretty good.
8:15 a.m. – SUCCESS! No cheating last night and I’m feeling pretty darn good. Noticed that I’m sleeping really well (minus getting up to pee from the juice), so that is a bonus.
9:30 a.m. – Still feeling good. Light on my feet, so to speak. Exciting news though, new juice today!
“Strong”; Almond milk, chlorophyll, cucumber.
This one is oddly delicious, almost as good as Magical. The cucumber pairs really well with almond milk and it’s slightly sweet compared to all the ginger concoctions.
9:42 a.m. – Feeling basically adjusted at this point; not hungry, not sleepy, just kind of like a normal day after a good workout or something. I’m thinking my lack of commitment the first day and improper prep for the cleanse kept me from getting here sooner, but who’s to say. Also, I’m not much of a cosmetician, but I do notice that the skin on my face feel different, like in a good way.
12:00 p.m. – A mild headache has set it, but I feel good still otherwise. Not overly hungry or anxious, just good.
1:45 p.m. – had some sensations of hunger just now, but nothing extreme. About once a day my stomach growls and that’s it.
3:30 p.m. – Feelings of giddiness continue to come and go. I’m easily entertained and feel sharp still, however the headache persists.
5 p.m. – Home stretch! One more hour and I’m officially done. It’s been real ya’ll.