Bengals fan has wisdom teeth taken out, films hilarious video: WATCH

‘Mom, I don’t wanna lose to the Browns!’
Published: Dec. 1, 2022 at 7:56 PM EST
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CINCINNATI (WXIX) - If there’s a test of Bengals fandom, Haven Wolfe passed it last week with room to spare.

Wolfe got her wisdom teeth out five days before the Bengals took on the Tennessee Titans.

After the procedure, still mired in the thralls of sedation anesthesia, she got in the car and started recording with her phone.

On Tuesday, she posted the video.

Its two minutes are pure entertainment. Wolfe wails and sobs her way through some truly legendary quotes.

Some standouts (which describing does no justice at all):

Of Burrow, on whom Wolfe apparently has an outsized crush and the existence of whose girlfriend Wolfe despairs at length:

“He’s pretty but dangit he’s talented, and let’s be honest, I go for ambition not looks!”

Of the Bengals’ next two games:

“We play the Titans on Sunday, and Ja’Marr Chase isn’t even a sure thing, and I miss him! And even if we get past that one, we’ve got the Kansas City Chiefs and Patrick Mahomes, and he’s so good! And everyone knows it!—and he makes those Subway commercials!”

Of the Dec. 11 matchup against Cleveland:

“Mom, I don’t wanna lose to the Browns! Joe Burow has never beaten the Browns, and they’re historically the worst franchise in NFL history!”

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